Everything changes, like the seasons.........

That, I suppose is football. I haven't 'blogged' since October 2009 and we're now nearing the end of June 2010. It was good to read the old blog and remember the passion on the Turf. It doesn't go away out of season, but just lies dormant for a while. It came bursting back out yesterday as England went out against Slovenia in a must win last match of the group game. At two thirty I was pacing the floor in the office. We were due to watch on the big screen in the conference room, but alas, at 14:55 the whole world logged on to the BBC live stream and that was that really. However, we ended up listening on 5Live radio which was just as good. We won, we're through, we have Germany on Sunday!.....................

The Clarets went down! It's still not an easy thing to say and took a few months to prepare for. We could see it coming as we neared it of course, but there was always that glimmer. How on earth we managed to keep watching sometimes is beyond belief. Many left. The lad next to me left one day and never came back. I was completely empty, or so i thought, of belief, support, love for the club, week in, week out losing. The rain, the match, the club, the manager, the chants. It had all gone wrong. However, week in and week out, I went. I believed, supported until the end. How can you not? You're either in it or you're not and there was no way i was leaving it!. Even when we're getting hammered, and we did a few times, I just can't bring myself to leave before the final whistle. No matter what!

It was, emotionally, a very tough season. I sat on the kirb outside the club after the Blackburn match, empty, in shock, blank, speechless. In fact I was unable to speak for 3 hours or so afterwards, so i didn't.

Owen Coyle leaving was so unfair for the lads, the club, the town and everyone associated with Burnley. There was absolutely no way of coming round from that. It was like having the oxygen turned off on the life support machine. One is useless without the other. We didn't stand a chance. It shook the club to the ground and we went down.

Now today it's all forgotten, to a certain extent. Forgotten, but not forgiven, but we move on. That, is football. It changes every season, like the seasons. That's what it's all about. Push forward, look ahead, believe. A good structure for life, I think.

Bring on the next season.

Surely it's just a game?! x

It was suggested the other night that I created a blog. "I've got one" I said. " I just don't know what to put in it!". It was something to do with the tappety tappety of my nails as I typed away on facebook chat with my good friend Max that made him suggest this.

But after yesterdays trip to Turf Moor I now feel like 'blogging'. I need to look at the 'passion' a little more!

The passion I see on the Turf makes me smile with pride. I have never felt so 'included', 'the same as' in all my life. There are thousands of us and we are all the same. Born and bred, as we say. We are a family and I am so proud to be part of it. We have nothing in Burnley and have had nothing for many many years, but, we have all had nothing together. This is what pulls us together. We believe with a passion, like no other, that we can achieve. We all chant together with a passion, we believe in all the words that we sing. We drum up a loud mesmerizing rhythm, no breaking off......it is a constant, it never evaporates in to silence.

I smile, warmly, not to myself, but I express it. I look around, proud, smiling, clapping, keeping the rhythm! Where else on earth would you have this?

And then we win!

Football is a place to belong. Has it always been like this?

Surely 'it's just a game?'.

I expect as society became more segregated, the closer, more tribal like the game became. I don't know, maybe it always felt like that, maybe i was too young to notice before. Too young to understand. Maybe it's just what I need, so thats why I notice it. Whatever the reason, I absolutely love it.

This could bring me to tears, but in 2 weeks time we play at Ewood Park. Christmas, Birthdays, Births, Marriages any celebration you can think of will fade in comparison to us winning that game! It means so much to me that again I'm questioning why? 'Surely it is just a game?'. I think it's Burnley. I think it's little old Burnley. The town is built on football.

As a girl, growing up in Burnley, I had my ballet and tap classes, my violin lessons and my season ticket to Turf Moor. Thats just the way things are in Burnley. I have my dad and grandad to thank for that. My grandad stood on the door of the 'Center Spot' for more years than I can remember. The Center Spot was the club within the ground. We met father Christmas there. My grandma and grandad went on trips from there. Football is in our family. Ray Pointer lodged at my Aunty Edie's across from the Turf, 5 doors or so down from my Grandma and Grandads. My dad was born there. 100 meters from Turf Moor.

We do football in Burnley, through the generations, and I am SO glad that I am back.

XXX